The absolute 'do not do' actions that break cruise etiquette

Cruises are all about relaxation. Each voyage brings adventure at your own pace, in far-flung places, while someone else handles the cooking. And the cleaning, for that matter. Of course – this kind of holiday attracts over 37 million cruisegoers every year, with thousands of people residing on floating resorts at any one time.

It’s a lifestyle that showcases the world, without stress, while engrossed in luxury and entertainment. It’s as close to blissful Eden as you can get; this side of the pearly gates.

Well, until you encounter unruly behaviour. Ill manners and poor conduct can cast a ripple effect throughout the whole ship, creating a toxic atmosphere destined to detract from everyone’s enjoyment. If you want to enjoy smooth sailing, here’s the deal – don’t be that person.

You know the type. Those passengers who avoid making eye contact because of their onboard antics. From hogging the buffet and overstuffing their plate between fresh restocks, to jettisoning the dress code and overdoing the drinks package, here are some aspects to avoid. After all, cruising should be a pleasure for everyone, rather than a riot for one.

Don’t be a pool deck hog

The outdoor areas on a cruise ship are golden, especially on warm days that bask in oceanic sunshine. But staking out chairs at the crack of dawn with a towel and your half-empty sunscreen bottle? Not cool.

If you’re not actually using the chair or lounger, let someone else grab a seat in the sun. Sharing is caring, and everyone is here for a good time. Remember – you don’t own the deckchair. Watching people tiptoe around “reserved” loungers all day? It’s awkward for everyone.

Trust us, when it comes to poolside real estate or couches near the outdoor bars, behaving in a courteous fashion and refraining from selfish urges will make the experience better for everyone. It might be tempting to snatch a sun lounger and play the big man, but you don’t want to become a viral video with the nickname ‘Entitlement of the Seas’, such as this charming individual.

Don’t go overboard at the buffet

The buffet remains one of cruising’s greatest perks. The quality of fresh produce often leaves passengers astounded, especially when accustomed to the dodgy constraints of certain hotel chains and their questionable fare.

With the likes of Cunard, Princess, and P&O, the Chef’s special would make Gordon Ramsay blush. Celestyal is so particular about flavour that only certain regions of Italy are suitable for supplying tomatoes. With such intricate empathy towards each and every diner, foodies migrate in huge numbers toward those elegantly provocative offerings from behind the serving hatches.

However, even though the smell of creamy satay, scarlet sweet Lasagne, and dark chocolate Gateaux can have you reaching for the XXL helpings, piling your plate sky-high or emptying the dessert tray isn’t just greedy, it’s a surefire way to annoy your fellow passengers. It's beyond rude and exhibits a selfish streak that will negatively characterise your persona.

There will always be more of each dish on the way from the kitchen. There’s no need to panic. That is not the last ever serving of chips to be produced. Relax, absorb the taste, and allow your fellow passengers to gain their serving as you wish yours.

And cutting in line? That’s the culinary equivalent of mutiny. No need to treat it like a survival situation. While we are at it, don’t hog a table for four if there are just two of you. Invite lost-looking souls, with their plates held aloft, to join you in those spare seats.

Don’t mistreat the crew

The crew works nonstop to ensure your cruise becomes perfect, but bear in mind that they’re not your personal assistants; unless you’ve plumped for the Balmoral Suite on RMS QM2. Then you’re in a new class of your own, with a dedicated butler at your service.

Regardless of where you see yourself in society, asking politely and saying “thank you” goes a long way. Snapping your fingers or acting in an entitled fashion is not appreciated. Chances are, while the crew will not react in an untoward manner towards your aggression, other passengers will gladly put you in your place. Those who respect the crew get so much more out of their cruise holiday.

A little kindness can turn good service into exceptional service, and you’ll enjoy the bonds created. You’ll develop genuine friendships and land on first-name terms. It’s all part of the cruising community, and who knows, you may get the odd bit of VIP goodness.

It’s not been unknown for small gratuities to be left in the cabin for your return from an excursion – from bottles of wine to chocolates and onboard vouchers. Good behaviour can, quite literally, pay off.

Gratuities might be included in your cruise fare, but a little extra appreciation (whether monetary or verbal) highlights how you’ve had a great time. The crew works hard to keep everything spotless and your drinks flowing.

Skipping out on tipping isn’t just a breach of etiquette; it’s a missed opportunity to spread some kindness.

Always remember that the crew are human beings, not a uniform. Respect is a two-way street, and providing a level of service that would floor The Terminator brings an incredible level of work.

Don’t blow off dress codes

Formal nights and themed parties aren’t just suggestions; they’re part of the fun! Skipping the dress code to rock cargo shorts at a black-tie dinner? It’s a vibe killer. You may even be turned away, making a spectacle of yourself and causing no end of animosity for those around you.

The likes of Cunard request that you don’t wear shorts after 6pm, not because they wish to dictate your every waking moment, but rather to create an onboard ambience that remains bespoke to Transatlantic crossings. Passengers have often saved every penny to experience the unique Cunard mantra, and swanning about in offensive T-shirts or ‘banned’ items ruins the whole thing. Remember, it’s not just your cruise holiday.

Think of it as your chance to go glam or channel your inner pirate. Plus, participating is way more fun than sticking out like a sore thumb in the dining room. Hushed whispers can lead to full-blown reputations being formed, and you never know when that might come back to bite you.

There’s another aspect to adhere to, and that’s in relation to camouflage wear. Cruise lines often request that you don’t wear such garments to certain ports, such as Barbados, as otherwise, you may incur the wrath of local military forces. Your cruise ship won’t wait should you end up bundled into a Land Rover and taken away for questioning.

Don’t be that cabin neighbour

Walls on cruise ships aren’t as soundproof as you’d hope. While you are afforded a certain level of privacy, louder activity can translate into surrounding cabins and corridors.

Blasting loud music, talking with obnoxiously-high frequencies, making loud noises on the balcony, practising what you’ve seen in Basic Instinct, turning the TV up to deafening levels, or hosting impromptu karaoke sessions will be heard by your neighbours. Not the move we’d recommend.

How would you enjoy listening to adverse tones while trying to relax? Think about it.

Keep it courteous, especially at night. You may have had a blast at the disco, or sampled every cocktail available, but others wish to listen to the ocean. Not your rendition of Livin’ on a Prayer, or the slap of your vomit against the door.

Don’t forget your common sense

Various aspects can sometimes slip the mind, yet others feel inexcusable. One such unjustifiable action revolves around hygiene. We get it, you’re on holiday, and it’s tempting to throw caution to the wind – but we’d advise you to wash your hands before meals using the sanitiser at the buffet. It’s not just hygienic, but also cruise etiquette 101, and key to avoiding the spread of cold viruses.

Be the hero who keeps the ship healthy and germ-free; it’s easier than packing extra meds. Don’t skimp on the handwash when using the bathroom, either. You may feel rushed to attend a show or to get back to your dinner table, but always ensure you keep clean.

Talking of time, cruise schedules run tight, whether it’s for a shore excursion or getting back to the ship before it sails off without you. Showing up late holds everyone else up, or worse, leaves you waving from the dock as the ship sails into the horizon.

Set an alarm, wear a watch, and respect the clock, especially if you are wandering off and away from the cruise-organised excursion activities. Don’t become a pier runner.

Don’t become discourteous to those around you

Unlimited drink packages can feel like an invitation to live your best party life. But pacing yourself is key. No one wants to be remembered as the passenger who got carried out of the charity dinner or caused a scene during the Baked Alaska Parade. Enjoy the cocktails, keep it classy, and wake up hangover-free to enjoy another amazing day at sea, rather than curled into a ball and unable to face daylight. Or ruining a stage show.

Cruise ship shows are entertainment highlights, but kicking seats, chatting during performances, or saving extra chairs for people who never show up? That’s a big no-no. Let the performers take centre stage; not your bad manners.

Sit back, relax, and enjoy the show without turning it into your personal living room. Got children who can’t stay quiet? It might be time to vacate the theatre and find something else to do.

Cruising is all about sharing the journey. With just a little awareness and a sprinkle of good manners, you’ll not only avoid annoying your fellow passengers, but you’ll become their favourite shipmate.

So wash your hands, mind your noise levels, and show up to dinner looking fabulous. Follow these simple tips, and you’re guaranteed to make waves (the good kind) wherever you go on board. Bon voyage!