Modern escapism perfected: Celestyal’s Iconic Aegean cruise

In a nutshell...

• 3-night Iconic Aegean/Greek Islands cruise
• Direct return flights from London Heathrow to Athens
• Sailing aboard Celestyal Discovery
• Balcony cabin
• Excursions to Santorini, Patmos and Mykonos

Some refer to our Royal Family as the world’s most boring crime syndicate. Others believe the only tedium spreading wider-felt misery remains Coldplay. Pockets of society stipulate that Brexit made our economy stronger, whereas liberal thinkers view Brexit as an inexplicable cause to give dim-witted MPs unlimited financial control. Then there’s the debate on electric cars. Vaccines. The weather. Customer service. Traffic. Phone signal. The airwaves are rabid with belligerence.

As it turns out, British people have strong opinions based on nothing. The Ancient Greeks acted with the same mantra. Probably. I’ve never bothered to find out.

But then, in all seriousness, the Greeks have always enjoyed healthier rationale. While Great Britain spawned an empire powered by fish fingers and drizzle, Greece basked in vibrant sunshine and forged the foundations of contemporary society. You can trace modern diplomacy back to the Acropolis, towering over Athens akin to a timely Pentelic marble bookmark.

That Greek approach has transcended since time immemorial, weaving seamlessly into the country’s immutable attraction for British holidaymakers. Rooted firmly by passion, history, adventure and an unyielding appreciation for beauty, the Aegean vibe has long been an enviable one. It’s why we flock there in our millions – again, and again, and again.

Naturally, one of the most popular ways to explore the Aegean’s sunkissed Greek islands has always been via cruise ship, and it’s not hard to see why. From the very moment you set sail, it’s a first-class ticket into immersion – where mythology meets reality; every Aegean-blue crest whispering of bygone civilizations, ancient Gods and tales of heroism.

Communities that reside across the Aegean have long celebrated a zest for life, lending an influence on tourism providers who cover the area. Material goods and oneupmanship don’t cut it here. Instead, locals enjoy wine by the decanter and cherish moments of togetherness, exploration and indulgence. That’s where Celestyal Cruises comes in. And, boy, do they radiate with a life-changing frame of mind.

A cruise with Celestyal detoxes your soul, broadens your horizons and teaches you to drop that oh-so-Albion obsession; focusing on life’s incidental aspects. As it turns out, the Iconic Aegean cruise provides an ideal backdrop to save you from the rampant in-vogue stresses of modern life. Coldplay can’t hurt you here.

Celestyal Cruises: a true vibe of the Aegean

Although well accustomed with cruise travel, rarely have we encountered such a unique onboard atmosphere. The itinerary of two port excursions per day would floor other cruise lines, yet Celestyal operates with a regulated calm normally reserved for The Stoics. Everything runs like clockwork, creating a timetable that promotes exploration at your own pace, rather than feeling herded towards tourist traps like camera-bearing livestock.

It may sound ironic to stress how relaxed this cruise feels, yet the aureate sunbeams, warming winds and richly churned azure waters strip away all of life’s recent pressures. Celestyal Cruises appear to spearhead the rhythm of the Aegean, showcasing a stunning tableau of vibrant shores, sun-drenched islands and timeless villages that rise organically from Gaia’s beauty.

Although the Aegean’s shimmering landscape threatens to overshadow everything in its’ grasp, our ship stole the limelight. Celestyal Discovery proves that the orchestration between style and practicality need not be impossible. As a masterpiece of thoughtful design, the cruise ship balances an intoxicating blend of elegance, comfort and clean-cut European chic.

The vessel may be entering her third decade of service, but her revamp remains an ultimate credit to Celestyal. From spacious decks and inviting lounges, to specialist dining experiences and congenial balcony suites, Discovery provides an unparalleled cruising experience. It’s the perfect environment to relax while soaking up the breathtaking surroundings of the Greek and Turkish coast.

Naturally, as us Brits base our opinions on hearsay and assumption, it’s easy to get whisked away on the bandwagon regarding larger ships. The larger the better. Yet, as Discovery attests, it’s not the size that’s important. It’s how you use it.

Celestyal Discovery: the perfect ship. The perfect service

With its intimate proportions, Celestyal’s flagship offers extra bandwidth for the ultimate in personalised voyages. From permitting access to smaller, hidden ports that larger vessels cannot reach, to a devoted crew-passenger ratio of 3:1, Discovery radiates with empathetic detail that mirrors Greek warmth and sophistication.

The ethos of philoxenia, translated as the love of hospitality, glows from every member of the Celestyal family while aboard. After a few days, it felt like less of a cruise, and more of a reunion with extended family, where every moment swirls with a celebration of the extraordinary; new people, fresh excursions and a shared sense of awe.

Not to mention a soulful gastronomic journey that would have Gordon Ramsay feverishly reaching for the serving spoon. Lavish feasts of fresh seafood, scarlet-sweet fruits and fine cooking are served alongside world-class wines, echoing those ancient banquets of the Cleisthenes.

Each bar and restaurant holds a bespoke ambience. The Ocean Bar, located on the aft of Deck 7, proved to be a favourite for us. Nothing boasts more of European harmony than a friendly barman serving a sunburnt Glaswegian different cocktails, as the curved splendour of the ship’s posterior frames a coruscating sea view.

Dining like Royalty

From vibrant social spots to intimate dining experiences, every venue reflects the essence of convivial Aegean grandeur. The main restaurant – The Taverna – oozes twinkling elegance, serving Mediterranean-inspired cuisine crafted from fresh, local ingredients. Perhaps the only aspect Brits can complain about revolves around how the chips taste like actual potatoes. Made with love, rather than regurgitated chemical powder.

Passengers can relish perfectly grilled steaks to accompany their chips, paired with aromatic fish dishes, tender vegetables, fluffy bread and succulent poultry without fear of clinical mass-catering. Desserts stop everyone in their tracks. If left unattended, it’s easy to transform from passenger to ballast.

One of the greatest gourmet experiences at sea can be found onboard; Grill Seekers. As a steakhouse, you’ll struggle to find better. The smoky aura and cast-down lighting craft an atmosphere where you’d expect to find Tony Soprano, while the dining experience is fit for the world’s most boring crime syndicate. The tomahawk steak and all its accompaniments are fit for a king. Eating here costs a little extra, but it’s worth it.

For something more laid-back, the casual dining area offers a mix of international favourites and Greek street food. Seeking an after-dinner tipple? The rooftop lounge is a serene oasis where you can sip signature cocktails, as the sun melts across the horizon like the clotted cream from your afternoon tea.

Drinking with class

Meanwhile, the cosy, stylish cocktail bar buzzes with energy, offering handcrafted drinks alongside a signature range of Alchemy cocktails that need to be seen to be believed. There’s no flat lager here, but you can have a smouldering pirate’s chest packed with fruit and rum, or shot glasses filled with brain-tingling mysteries – served in a dissected bird cage. It’s Ab Fab gone mad.

For a more classic ambience, the piano bar provides live music and expertly mixed martinis, creating the perfect backdrop for a sophisticated evening where you can pretend to be Roger Moore. Whether you’re indulging in a long, luxurious meal or enjoying a late-night drink under the stars, Celestyal Discovery ensures every dining and drinking moment is as unique and memorable as the journey itself, where you can let go of the present and live the persona you desire.

Accommodation leaves little to be desired. Beds provide comfort in abundance, alongside air conditioning that blows ice cold, ample seating room, a writing desk and acres of storage; a wardrobe, a hidden safe, shelves and bedside drawers. The décor allows light to gently bounce across each surface, creating a modified temper that illusions a larger space from homely dimensions. You certainly won’t suffer from a lack of room. It’s head space without requiring a syndicate’s budget.

Should you plump for a balcony cabin, of which there are 62 on the ship, then you’ll open the door upon the real deal. Aegean winds can be strong, but your private balcony provides plenty of protection – making for the perfect reading space, or an exclusive lounging area.

Aegean Destinations of a Lifetime

For us, what sets Celestyal Cruises apart from the competition remains the deep local expertise and thought-provoking itineraries, elevating Celestyal’s Aegean voyage beyond mere cruise status.

Designed for authentic encounters, the marque’s local experts curate itineraries with a strict algorithm, ensuring that you enjoy enchanting and culturally rich destinations that boast an ability to create lasting memories – including Mykonos, Kusadasi, Patmos, Crete and Santorini.

By operating with small groups in each excursion, you’re given time to wander narrow alleyways, savour traditional Greek cuisine at family-run tavernas and capture the essence of each port. The ship’s perfectly timed schedules ensure you avoid the crowds, permitting a more intimate and meaningful experience. This is where you can gain actual experience to form an opinion, rather than depending on unsolicited information from Karen on Facebook.

And our opinion? This is paradise. Not only are you far from Great Britain’s mumbling rants, but rain-lashed pavements and an overbearing sense of doom are replaced by unalloyed local generosity and velvet coastline. Mykonos, world-renowned for its cosmopolitan charm, iconic windmills and pristine beaches presents an atmosphere so vibrant that electricity can be generated from the aura alone.

The blend of luxury and tradition continues with a call to Kusadasi, lounging on Turkey’s energetic waterside, permitting access to the ancient city of Ephesus - where history comes alive through a plethora of awe-inspiring ruins; culminating at the Temple of Artemis.

The serene and spiritual island of Patmos provides a tonic for those disparaged by hordes and noise. It’s on this island that you’ll find the hidden gem of the UNESCO-listed Monastery of Saint John, and the Cave of the Apocalypse – where St. John of Patmos received his visions as recorded in the Book of Revelations. Arguably, the Bible’s best chapter.

Then there’s Crete, the largest and most diverse Greek island, home to the ancient Palace of Knossos; offering a glimpse into one of the world’s earliest civilizations. Beyond its historical wonders, Crete proudly broadcasts the blueprint for stunning landscapes. From the dramatic Samaria Gorge to golden beaches kissed by turquoise waters, visitors won’t forget Crete in a hurry.

Then there’s the Godfather of Greek charm – Santorini. Often referred to as the crown jewel of the Aegean, Santorini enchants with volcanic beauty, dramatic caldera and skies that decorate reality in hues of gold and crimson. There is literally nothing to complain about, except for the fact that you’ll have to come home at some point.

Iconic Aegean: an escape

To be fair, us Brits regularly face soul-sucking adversity. We engage with our pastime of moaning in a bid to counteract the friction of a system that locks horns against common sense. What could possibly soothe the soul of a nation so deeply entrenched in the art of complaint?

Enter the Iconic Aegean cruise with Celestyal. It’s not only an opportunity to sail the gorgeously historic Aegean Sea, but also the perfect remedy to all your grievances. It’s not just an exploration of sun-soaked Greek islands and radiantly timeless villages, it’s a tailored cure for those who grumble with gusto.

Just imagine trading the dreary agony of flat, lukewarm Brexit rants for Greek islands dripping with culture, where your only disgruntlement might be deciding between one dessert or four. Coldplay can’t hurt you here.

There’s also no need to agonise over poorly-researched holiday destinations because Celestyal has done all the hard work for you. Every port, every meal, every glittering wave is meticulously curated, leaving you no excuse to mutter about service or the weather.

This is no generic jaunt; this is escapism perfected. While the modern world drowns in emails, Royalist-fuelled pub debates and oily fish and chips, you’ll be luxuriating in the timeless Aegean, with the Ancient Greek’s mantra for company.

Embrace Celestyal’s genius. It’s not just a holiday; it’s salvation from your well-worn misery, set against a backdrop so stunning it might just silence your social feed and give you some time to yourself. Or not - you’ll still have Wi-Fi.